I've been writing about prospects since 2014. That's honestly not that long ago, but in the scale of time I work on, it feels like forever. I've gotten lucky, in that time, to be mentored by some of the best and most giving people out there - both on the evaluation and the writing side of the gigs. For a while, I even wanted to be a scout, thought that would be the culmination of my dreams.
Things change as we grow older, though, including our priorities and our abilities. Evaluation's still very much a part of me, my identity, being the girl who can hang in there with the guys when taking apart a prospect's swing or mechanics or makeup. It's a part of how I approach anything to do with numbers - we can slice and dice, but the game's still played on the field.
However, it's not my home, anymore. There's no future for me in this game on the pure evaluation side, not right now. I'm not going to pretend that this isn't bitter, that this thing I got into for love has turned into this...but it's also possibly time for me to step back, simply because I'm not in it for love anymore.
I'm not quitting, entirely. This isn't some big flounce of a blog post, with complaints about how it's too hard or it's not fair. I'm still going to go to some games, just not nearly as many. I'm still going to write about some prospects, but they might be fewer, and further between. I still love baseball, but I'm just redistributing my time a bit.
Right now, I have the chance to learn from some of the best people in the public industry on the number-crunching and innovation side of the street, and I'd be a fool to turn that down. Added to a real job that requires 45-60 miles of commuting, daily, to which I'd be adding an additional 20 if I were to attempt to go to Frisco every day, a dire need for sleep, and simple economics, it's a clear choice, if not also a painful one.
Even simpler, though, it had become about being ahead, "winning," constantly comparing myself to others and their accomplishments, which isn't a healthy way to be about anything that isn't, you know, an actual competition. Maybe this step back will be good. I'll learn some stuff, figure out my "real" job and the balance of everything, and be able to continue fusing evaluation and analytics in new and exciting ways.
I don't expect anyone to read this blog post and really understand anything. I honestly don't understand it myself - and I still don't have an answer for what I'm trying to get out of this baseball thing. Sometimes, though, you just have to make the rational decision instead of the easy one, and look forward to learning new things.
